How to Support an Asexual Partner

Details: Category: Asexual Passions; Published on Saturday, 11 June 2011 18:09; Written by Lara Landis; Hits: 2882

Disclaimer: The staff of Asexual News does not consider the site to be the best place to seek relationship advice. The only worse source for relationship advice comes from a certain Seattle-based columnist. Supporting an Asexual partner requires a person to understand one fundamental difference between the mindset of a sexual person and an Asexual.

A sexual partner in a relationship may find that the other partner does not want sex. He may find out that the partner wants to have intercourse with members of the same gender. The circumstance can cause a lot of hurt feelings, broken families, divorces and hard feelings. Navigating a relationship between a sexual and an Asexual is easier than navigating a relationship that ends because one partner is gay or lesbian, but there will always be a fundamental divide between the two partners. It does not matter whether the partner is male or female. The circumstances are the same.

The Mindset Difference

to the Asexual, sex is often not necessary for intimacy. Certain Asexuals may enjoy sex, but they will rarely seek it out. The previous statement is a generalization and obviously not acceptable for everyone. An Asexual partner who does not want sex is not rejecting the sexual partner. The Asexual partner does not think about relationships the same way. The Asexual partner will often find certain activities such as cuddling enjoyable. A romantic Asexual wants to connect on an emotional and intellectual level. For him or her, the act of physical intimacy is not required.

The most important thing for a sexual partner to understand is that the rejection of the sex act is not a rejection of the partner. Some Asexuals will bring other people into the relationship because they grasp, that sex is important to the other partner on an intellectual level.

Other Ways to Support an Asexual Partner

A good way to show support in any relationship is to respect the other person's boundaries. If both parties are willing to comprise on the act of intercourse, there may be little friction in the relationship. The Asexual partner can also show support for what few Asexual causes there are, by wearing ribbons, buttons or even just joining a support group or online message board for Asexuals.