Dear Dr. Ruth -- Please Visit an Asexual Website Before Commenting on Asexuality
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- Category: Cake Recipes
- Published on Wednesday, 28 December 2011 14:56
- Written by Lara Landis
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Doctor Ruth may be a world wide renowned expert on sex, but she may want to spend more time on Asexuality.org. She wrote a recent advice column telling a woman that she could not be Asexual because she is capable of having orgasms. While it may be possible that Dr. Ruth simply did not know the current definition, she should have stopped to think about her advice before giving it. Although there is little academic research on Asexuality, almost all of the research indicates that Asexuals are capable of having an orgasm. The same studies indicate that most Asexuals masturbate.
The woman may have a nonexistent libido. The woman knows whether she has a libido or not. Her advice, however, completely fails to miss the mark.
“Since it seems you do have orgasms, you're not asexual. But perhaps you aren't fully sensing the entire orgasm, and are experiencing more what is called missed orgasms. Or, it may be that this relationship isn't the right one for you”, writes Dr. Ruth in her December 27th column.
Doctor Ruth should have handled this problem differently. She should have addressed two possible issues. The letter writer will not read this site, but the letter writer should know that she can have orgasms and still be Asexual. The second problem she should have addressed is whether or not her libido is actually a problem. The expert should know that people do not all have the same desire for sex. Some people have a low libido. It is a sudden change in libido that signals a problem. She should have added that if these issues are not a problem, the letter writer may be suffering from missed orgasms. (Note: If there is a medical term for this condition, the author does not know it).
If Doctor Ruth had a small audience, she would have been ignored, but she is considered to be one of the most important voice on sex today. An important voice on sex and sexuality should be giving better information about Asexuality. She also should not try to suggest that someone is or is not Asexual. Sexuality is a complex task and each individual needs to work out their own sexuality.
Source:
Are There Ways to Revive a Non-Existent Libido?
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This is so typical of what we see coming from the mainstream community. Until sex advice experts and the professional community start listening to what the Asexual community actually says and how we define ourselves, we're going to continue to face this kind of ignorance. We will not be defined by what others would like us to be, but rather by what we experience to be reality. 